8 reasons to post a profile on AFF (especially if you’re a good girl)

So why, I've been asked (more than once), would a "good girl" like myself post a profile on a site whose tagline is "meet real sex partners tonight"?

Actually, plenty of reasons. Here are 8 of them.

1) You get to practice boundary-setting

A lot of us good girls are so nice to everyone that we need some practice saying "no," as well as in basic boundary-setting. Dating in general will provide you with tons of opportunities to practice, but sometimes it's handy to have a venue where it's really, really easy to say no.

When you put up a profile on a site like AFF (especially if you include some [tasteful and artistic] nude shots, you'll likely be inundated with emails. Yes, the vast majority of those emails will be from guys you will never have any interest in responding to (as shown in my Great Age Experiment), but that's precisely the point!

When you get practice saying no (or simply ignoring) under very easy circumstances, it strengthens your limit-setting muscles for use in more challenging situations. This is a good thing.

2) You get to be very clear about what you want

This one is interesting, and came as a surprise to me. The very act of composing my profile for AFF was wonderfully liberating.

Because you get to talk about things that would be censored out of a profile on a "legit" dating site, it gives you an amazing sense of freedom to talk about, well, you know, stuff you can't talk about on a "legit" dating site.

In other words, you get to really lay out on the table everything you're looking for behind the bedroom door. You don't have to wait until an "appropriate" time in the dating process to make your kinks preferences known.

Try it. You may find that you even discover things about yourself you didn't know before!

Yes, it's a little weird, granted, to be so upfront about this stuff, but it's also kind of cool. The conversations I had with the men I met on AFF – in emails and on dates – were a lot more matter-of-fact about... well, stuff.

Let's face it, we live in a pretty uptight society, and I personally find it a relief to let some of that uptightness go.

3) You get an ego boost

Okay, a shallow ego boost, granted, and frequently illiterate and/or somewhat (or entirely) disgusting, but what girl can't use an ego boost once in awhile?

If you're not having much luck on the "legit" sites, try putting up a profile on AFF. If you're female and you have a body, you'll likely get a response. You'll feel pretty popular for at least a few seconds.

4) You get a fascinating insight into the nature of men

Um, yeah. In other words, they're very much driven by the little head.

Not always what you want to know, but information is power, you know?

5) You get confirmation of your value on the marketplace

Should you ever decide to turn pro. Just sayin'.

6) You get to see a wider range of penises than you ever thought possible

Yes, it's true. Men are obsessed with them. If you ever prayed to God for a place where you could see hundreds of teeny-tiny pics of cocks, all in one place, here's your paydirt.

7) You get a sense of power

Again, limited, but still. Especially if you feel like men have all the power in the dating world, like you're up on the auction block, waiting passively for someone, anyone, to bid on you, putting a profile up on AFF may help you get back to the place where we women belong: we are the selectors; they are the selectees.

(Which takes us back to numbers 1 & 2. You're in charge here, sister.)

8) You never know, but something really good may even come out of it

Hey, I know this is unlikely, but seriously, you never know!

I personally met some awesome guys, real gentlemen, if you can believe it. Think about it: you're on the site, right? And you're a "good girl" and a really cool person. So it makes sense that some (granted few, but some) guys on the site are also really cool people.

I met a number of guys who also had profiles on "legit" sites, and were (like me) looking for the Real Thing, not just a hookup. It happens.

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Give it a try – I dare you! Then let me know what happens.

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